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It's been almost two years since I've stood up. I lost my first leg the left one, it was amputated below the knee in October of 2007.  About 45 days later my right leg was amputated thigh high. Chopped up to my pockets.  Well I've been on a roller coaster of one health problem after another.  My last surgery was this year in August when my parathyroids were removed due to them excreting too many hormones that were depleting my calcium level severely.  Since the surgery my recovery has been better.  I am on a mass intake of calcium 2000 iu daily to keep my bones strong.  I have finally been able to gain some weight.  That's a big challenge especially with dialysis always draining me of all my fluid.  The calcium keep me hungry and I'm eating more and more.  I also had my pain medicine changed from Oxyicodine to Dilaudids.  I'm on 2mg. they do not make me nauscious so I can retain my food.  The great news is my wife took me to see Snell Prosthetics.  They examined me and have measured me for a prosthetic.  I go next Tuesday for my first fitting.  It a test model made of acrylic.  I am very anxious and nervious at the same time.  I have not stood up in two years.  I long to be able to look someone directly into their eyes when we speak, instead of them looking down on me.  I know it will be a slow and probably painful recovery, but I'm ready for the challenge. God is good.  I feel I can focus on something other than my anger for this horrible way to live.  My wife has been my arms, legs, back and sometimes my heart. I had lost my will to keep going for what?  I lost my legs, my trucking business, my kidneys and  my love life.  My mental state of mind is up and down.  Depression is a disease that can rob you of any joy in life.  I'm really trying to stay up beat and take things as God hands them to me. I pray for you all.